Friendships According to Madea

Last week, I had lunch with a woman that I have a budding friendship with. She is processing some very real pain in the current season of her life, and we talked about the impact this is having on her friendships. As we talked, she shared a really neat analogy from the "Extras" section of the DVD Madea Goes to Jail.

In this analogy, there are three types of friends that are characterized as parts of a tree.

1) The first group of friends are the leaves.

Leaves only last for a season. While in season, the leaves stick, but they are blown side to side by the winds. When the season changes, the leaves fall. You can't count on the leaves to stick around because they aren't made to do that; they are made to last for just a time before falling away. They can't be brought back to life. They give shade for a while, but they eventually fade and fall away.

2) The second group of friends are the branches.

Branches are trickier, according to Madea. They come in various shapes and sizes, some thicker than others. You never know how sturdy a branch is until you put weight on it. With some, you put weight on them, and they snap and give way. With other branches, if you give them enough time, they can grow to be sturdy enough to carry all that you want to give them.


3) The last group of friends are the roots.

This group of people are the ones who hold the tree up. Madea says if you find two or three roots in your life, you're really blessed. The roots don't care to be seen; they pump nourishment and strength into the tree to keep it tall and strong. They are there for the right reasons and give you life.

I've had leaf friends, and I've had branch friends. I know I'm blessed by the fact that I've had a couple of roots in my life since grade school and college, and the Lord has graciously brought a few more roots into my life since then. And that's not even counting my family. But as my new friend and I talked, we both remarked on how helpful it was to think of friendships this way. When we have a leaf friend and try to turn her into a root, we end up really unhappy and unfulfilled because the relationship wasn't meant to last forever. Madea says to forgive this type of friend for not being the branch or the root you hoped she would be. I agree with that 100%. And when we try to give a branch friend all of us before the branch is strong enough, the friendship comes very close to snapping, so we have to be patient and not depend on that branch the way we would a root. Lastly, trusting in the root friends makes sense because they stand the test of time; the roots strengthen, support, and sustain us as wind, and rain, and floods, and blizzards, and ice come to pull us down.

Accept the leaves, be patient with the branches, and trust in and be thankful for the roots - who knew Madea was a relationship expert?