Keeping My Mouth Shut

As you all know, I bought the house in September of 2009. I knew about the First Time Home Buyer's Tax Credit and dutifully bugged my big sister until she amended my tax return so I could send it off. ;) Around October 15th-ish, I sent away my amended return and knew I had about 8-12 weeks to wait until I got the $8000.00 tax credit in the mail.

Flash forward to now. It's been 6 months and 11 days since I submitted my amended return. I haven't gotten it yet. To save you a long story (and to keep myself from letting my blood boil and my heart from wallowing in self-pity), I have been given a few different stories when contacting the IRS. They aren't able to keep the timeframes due to the number of people who purchased a home and submitted the amended return, my return got pulled for a random audit, they have 30-45 days from my phone call to investigate its status, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

Tonight, while on Facebook, I saw that an acquaintance from my last church got their tax return. This was their 2009 taxes AND the home buyer's tax credit. When I asked, they submitted this in mid-February.

It's so discouraging to me that it's taken so long. I submitted all the required paperwork, and I continue to wait on money that is, in all honesty, badly needed. Things have been financially tight lately, and the only end in sight is the tax credit that I learned last week will come in 6-8 weeks. That was good news because that was the first time I had been told I would get the tax credit.

I am working on not complaining. It's hard. I'm working on not worrying. It's even harder. I'm working on feeling thankful. That's harder than I wish it was. The Lord has been faithful in helping me to meet my financial obligations. I'm grateful for that, so it's frustrating to me that my focus so quickly shifts to the needs not yet met rather than focusing on the needs He's already supplied. I don't want to feel entitled or annoyed. I want to focus on being thankful and praising God for His provision. I'm thankful that I am not living above my means and am not relying on credit cards to pay bills. That's a huge blessing. And I'm humbled that some people have a much worse financial climate in their lives than I do.

So I'm working on keeping my mouth shut. Instead of lamenting the fact that I might need to get a summer job or have to change/let go of future vacation plans that we've been looking forward to for a while, instead of "venting" (which for me often looks like complaining) that money is tight, instead of worrying how I'll pay my my bills, I just need to take it one day at a time. And when I'm tempted to open my mouth and make myself feel better in the moment by verbalizing all the stuff that's swirling in my head, I need to remember these words from an online devotional I read today:

"Chronic complainers gripe about anything and everything. The Israelites had grumbled against God and Moses ever since they left Egypt, and they continued to complain (Numbers 14:1-4). God was fulfilling the dream he had for their lives and all they could do was complain. They just couldn’t seem to catch God’s perspective of what was going on in their lives.

In every circumstance, we have a choice: We can complain, or we can trust God’s ability to handle any situation. Complaining means inaction; faith means moving ahead with God. Perspective is everything. When feeling hopeless, we should check our perspective, remembering where God has brought us, and allowing Him to work new miracles in our lives.

What is your perspective today? Have you lost hope in God’s dreams for you? If so, ask Him to change your perspective. Ask Him to give you His eyes. A fellow colleague of my husband’s and friend of mine, Dr. Ken Nichols, made this statement, “God’s Word influences my perspective…My perspective determines how I respond…My response influences the outcome of the situation—100% of the time!” I challenge you to get into God’s Word today—it will change your life!"

I hope these verses are on the tip of my tongue, too:

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

How is God teaching you to keep your mouth shut lately?